hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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