Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
