ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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