i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
