i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
MIDGETS
????
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
