My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
