bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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