You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
