There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
