I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
