You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
