Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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