I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
