Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
