Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
