I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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