Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
