oh god the rape fog is back!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
