Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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