Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
