Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
