there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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