He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
