Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
