Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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