I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
