it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
