So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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