Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Swine flu is the new snow day.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
