the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
