You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
