Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
