I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
