She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
