we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
