I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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