If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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