It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
