You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
