If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
