why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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