I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Randomize
