this boner is exhausting
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
