:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
