Your face is a jimmy john
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
