It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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