Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
