Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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