We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
