If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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