I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
