I just saw a hot homeless man
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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